So you want to start walking after work, and you want your kids and your spouse to join you. How do you do it?
With kids, choosing something they can participate in and have the skills to do, such as walking, is a great way to get started. If you want to start with a triathlon or running a 5K, you may not have such luck. Kids do well if they can, and doing well is preferable; the key factor is skill, not motivation.
With spouses, we need to check and make sure we aren’t choosing something they will never agree on. Husbands and wives need to understand that there is a rather long list of important issues upon which you and your mate will never agree, or will even actively disagree. This is a great realization for couples I had come across when I read the book Turn Your Mate into Your Soulmate by Arielle Ford. Don’t choose walking if your spouse absolutely detests it but, fortunately, most individuals can manage walking, which is why it’s a great first activity for getting buy-in.
Choosing something everyone can achieve is a good place to make the reward of participating one that everyone can enjoy.
Once your family has engaged in this activity, be wary of errors commonly made in the effort to keep this behavior going.
Firstly, never bribe a spouse or a child into doing something. This is different than a reward. Simply stated, rewards are earned for good behavior, while bribes are offered to avoid or stop bad behavior.
Moreover, be careful not to give a reward that will erode the progress you have made with the new habit and ritual your family is developing. So, for example, extra screen time for walking only reinforces the need for screen time. Instead, think new sneakers, which add another layer of enjoyment to the walk. Or take the family on vacation and hike Diamond Head in Honolulu; walking up that dormant volcano is a fairly easy hike, with some level of difficulty but great reward for the effort.
Weight loss goals can also be undone by inappropriate rewards. Eating pizza and cheesecake to celebrate the loss of 10 pounds only further establishes food as a reward, which is probably what led to the extra pounds in the first place. A new outfit to show off the new figure is one that reinforces the behavior we want to continue seeing.
But for the most part, people just enjoy getting positive feedback. It was Mark Twain who once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Let your family know how much you enjoyed your time together. Putting screens away during your walk so everyone is really present and in the now, sharing a funny story about your day, and saying “thank you for walking with me” can go a long way, literally and figuratively.
Ria Greiff is a host of You Inc., an NPR show on www.wbce.org/programs/you-inc that gives tools for wellness. She is a master trainer for a nationwide firm based out of New York and has been providing wellness seminars for professionals of Fortune 500 companies for the past 15 years. She is also the clinical director of her won benefits consulting firm and is a sought after speaker for national conferences on soft skills. Ria is a regular contributor to CityScene Magazine and can be reached at ria@2rogues.com for feedback or inquiries.
