For some older adults who’ve been parents and grandparents, the next natural step is to become a big brother or sister.
Older adults have embraced this role through the Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, which, for more than a century, has matched school-aged children with mentors called “bigs” to learn and spend time together.
“With older adults, sometimes they’re in their second act. They’re retired, their kids are grown, maybe their grandkids are grown, and they have a longing to still have connection,” says Jolyn Pugh, executive director of Fairfield County’s own Big Brothers Big Sisters. “Being a big brother or big sister can really provide them with that sense of purpose and mission.”
The Fairfield County organization has been helping the community for more than 30 years, serving school districts including Lancaster, Berne Union and, of course, Pickerington.
“We have a lot of history behind us, and I think that’s what brings a lot of power to the way we do mentoring and our programs,” Pugh says.
Volunteers choose between either a school- or community-based program. For the school-based track, bigs spend time with their littles in a school setting with weekly meetings at the elementary, middle or high school buildings.
The community-based program has a less formal schedule; bigs and littles set their own schedules of activities and go out into the community to learn about and do the things that interest them.
“We find that a lot of our retired bigs really like the structure of the school program,” Pugh says.
Many retired teachers and administrators become involved in the program as well, she adds.
Philip Willette has been a big brother for about eight years, and despite being in his 70s, has enjoyed spending time with young members of the community.
“It’s just something I feel good doing. My own kids are grown, and I think getting involved with a young person at an early age is where I can make a difference in their life,” he says.
Willette enjoys spending time with his littles and he is happy to report that they enjoy their time with him too. He recalls going to movies, Ohio State basketball games, parks, organization-led events and holiday parties, and lots of weekly meals out somewhere in town as a treat for the kids.
“One of the kids liked McDonald’s more than anything. He would get a large french fry anywhere he went,” Willette says with a laugh.
Pugh describes the matching of bigs and littles as a careful process to evaluate the personalities of both the children and adults.
“We really want to create an instant friendship, so by looking at common interests, goals and life experiences, it can take us a little while to find that perfect match,” Pugh says.
She also describes some of her favorite matches in the program, including a big in his 70s with a little who is 9, but they “meet in the middle” because they both act like they’re 30. They’ve created a theme for their time together: they’re pursuing their “firsts” in life. The little even taught his big how to take his first-ever selfie.
“I think mentoring benefits our adults just as much as the littles. The impact is great any time you introduce a trusted adult into a child’s life, but I think when we introduce them to older adults, they’re given skill sets that maybe a younger adult couldn’t give them,” Pugh says.
A big brother or sister can also have an impact on the people around them, such as their little’s family. Julie Calderone is raising her three grandchildren, and she’s grateful for the helping hand a big can lend with her grandson Julian.
I think getting involved with a young person at an early age is where I can make a difference in their life. —Philip Willette
“We have him involved in sports, but we just aren’t the go-getters who can get out there and throw the football and do all that stuff with him, because he’s just so active. There’s no sport he can’t play,” she says.
Although Julian and his big, Andrew, are a recent match and have only been able to meet over video chat due to COVID-19, Calderone is looking forward to seeing their relationship grow.
“He looks up to his coaches, but just having some figure he can trust in, talk to, maybe about things he wouldn’t want to talk to us about, is important,” Calderone says.
Community members interested in volunteering can fill out the inquiry form on the website, www.bbbs-fairfieldoh.org.
“A lot of our older bigs will tell me, ‘Man, I don’t know why I waited so long to do this. I would have been a better dad and I would have been a better grandparent if I did this sooner,’” Pugh says.
For Willette, making an impact makes the role worth it.
“It’s rewarding, and I think the results will show many years down the road. I may not even know the effect I have, just like how many times teachers don’t know the effect they have,” he says.
Brittany Mosley is a contributing writer. Feedback welcome at feedback@ cityscenemediagroup.com.