“We need to do a 3-D mammogram as your yearly has come back unusual.”
I remember standing up in the middle of the library and screaming, “Do I have cancer?!” Of course, the doctors can’t give you definite answers right away, as more tests are needed. Let me just say, you immediately think you’re going to die.
The holidays that year were somewhat of a blur. I didn’t tell anyone as I didn’t want to “ruin it” for my family. Plus, my husband’s mother had died from breast and ovarian cancer, and I couldn’t even begin to fathom telling him. On Dec. 29, 2017, I had a 3-D mammogram and then they did an ultrasound. I knew it wasn’t good. I had breast cancer, and I had to tell my husband. He took the news as well as you’d expect.
Let’s just fast forward through 2018. I’ll spare you the gory details. A week after being told I had breast cancer, I got a severe case of the flu and ended up in the emergency room. After being bedridden for a couple of weeks, I then began the journey of numerous biopsies, surgeries and doctor visits over the course of months. Oh, my! It was not a fairy tale. I had reactions to every medication and every cream. Radiation burnt me like a toasty marshmallow. And just to really top off the year, I lost my job of 18 years to downsizing and turned 50. I know what you’re thinking, “Well, that was the worst of times.” But indeed, it was really the best.
Cancer caused me to take a good hard look at my workaholic life and make drastic changes. I created the Phoenix Rising Strategy to transform my life and help others. Perhaps, as you read this story, you’re facing an opportunity, whether a health crisis, job loss, death of a loved one or other life event. Pause and ask yourself these questions – questions I asked myself.
- Plan: How are you going to survive? I decided that I wasn’t going to die. Or, if I was, I was going to give it one heck of a fight. I managed my cancer using a project plan. Every day I set two goals for myself: one for my health and one to move my life in a new direction. This, from someone who ran her entire life before with multiple lists that filled pages and spreadsheets to match, was a lot. Literally, my new goal for the day was as simple as “get out of bed” or “sit in a chair for 10 minutes.”
- Ponder: How are you going to change? Given all my new free time lying around on my back as I looked at the ceiling and willed myself to heal, I had a lot of time to think about what I really wanted my life to be and what changes I was going to make. My biggest fear had never been dying, but losing my job. When that happened, I quit being afraid.
- Purpose: Why are you here? In letting go of my fear, I finally found my purpose. There are no coincidences in life. The very same day I was declared cancer free, I learned that I had passed my oral coaching exams and was officially a certified life coach. It took me 50 years to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. It literally took me almost dying to make the changes necessary to live my most enlightened life.
- Purge: What is meaningful in your life? Everything becomes crystal clear when you think you are going to die. Everything you thought was important and critical is not. You suddenly realize that you don’t need “stuff” and an intense removal occurs. I cleaned my purse, my desk, my car, my house and my life. I let go of people and things that weren’t serving me. I basically let go of all the driftwood so I could enjoy the ocean. It was, to say the least, therapeutic.
- Power of One: What is one small change you can make today to move toward the life you want? As I moved from having cancer to being a cancer survivor, I became very intentional about ongoing changes in my life. It can be overwhelming (don’t forgot those long lists I used to make). Now I do little, bite-sized chunks. Drinking one glass of water a day leads to drinking more. Eating better at one meal leads to eating better at other meals. Every day I’m a work in progress and every day I do a little more.
Plan, Ponder, Purpose, Purge and Power of One – These are just some of the strategies I have implemented over the last two years that have changed my life. Without cancer, I would still be doing what I was doing before my diagnosis and wouldn’t have the joy and happiness that I have today. I still work hard, but now I play, too. I stop and look at the beauty around me. I laugh and, yes, I cry. I spend my life in prayer and gratitude. I have a new job, spend more time with my family, meditate, journal, visit the Philip Heit Center for Healthy New Albany for Urban Zen classes and help a lot of people.
It brings me tremendous joy, as I’m living the life I always dreamed about. And that is the best of times.
Evey Fuller-Moore is a breast cancer survivor, certified life coach and Energy Leadership Index-Master Practitioner. She helps people embrace their energy to live their most enlightened lives. Fuller-Moore is available at fullere50@gmail.com. She is working on writing her first book, Phoenix Rising: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light.
