Photos courtesy of Colleen D'Angelo
Consider this article a tornado siren because a month from now, college students will be finishing their exams, stuffing all of their belongings into trash bags and dumping them in the middle of your family room as they move back into your nice, clean home for the summer. Your refrigerator will once again be emptied while your sink fills up with dirty dishes. Your path to the garage will be cluttered with more shoes than a DSW store and laundry will multiply tenfold.
As you prepare to say goodbye to your freedom and flexible travel schedule, keep in mind that your kids may feel the same way. They have grown accustomed to staying out as late as the party lasts, sleeping in until class time, and not having to account for their whereabouts every minute of the day. It is an adjustment for the entire household, so the best way to ensure a fun summer is for parents and kids to communicate their wishes and expectations. Our family is going to make a list and hang it on the inside of the pantry door, which is constantly left open when the kids are back.
A note from us parents:
Keep track of your belongings. I always know when my daughters Catie and Courtney, are back because socks are everywhere – on kitchen chairs, behind couch pillows, on the bathroom sink. The left sock never ends up in the laundry with the right one and I guess that’s why they never wear matching socks. I am past caring if their feet match, but I don’t like cuddling up for TV time with stinky footwear on my pillow.
If you open it, close it. If you turn it on, turn it off. If you borrow it, return it. My usual morning diatribe when Catie and Courtney are home goes something like this: “Where is my mascara? Have you seen my tweezers? What happened to the nail clippers?” I manage to keep these items in my top drawer while the kids are at college, but inanimate objects grow legs and walk away when the girls are home.
Bonus points are awarded for helping out around the house. Some things are expected, like putting dirty plates into the dishwasher and taking the garbage out when it is full. It’s a sign of maturity and respect toward parents if kids can show that they don’t expect mom and dad to pick up after them. One of the nicest phrases a parent can hear from their young adult is, “Can I help you with anything?” It is literally music to our ears.
Sleeping in means something entirely different to a college student and entails waking in the p.m. rather than the a.m. Give your kids some time to de-tune after the chaos of exams and moving. They will be happy to sleep in their own beds and you may be able to convince them to stay in, cuddle and watch a movie while they recharge their batteries.
Photo courtesy of Pexel
Summer is the perfect time for a job or internship and, ideally, your student is already making those arrangements. If they need a little help, the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium has a seasonal job fair on April 13th from 1-3p.m. at the Lakeside Pavilion, as well as open interviews through May 7th. The City of Dublin and Dublin Community Recreation Center also hire seasonal positions including camp counselors and front desk workers. Go to www.dublinohiousa.gov and click on Careers.
Which brings us to the car situation. The nicest thing about Catie not having a car at Ohio University is that I don’t worry about her on the road every day. When summer comes she will be driving to work and to meet friends at all hours of the day and night. We tend to worry more when the kids are under our roof than when they are away, so it isn’t too much to ask for a check-in text and access to their location on the Find My Friends app.
From the student’s perspective: Skylar Moore is a sophomore journalism major at Ohio University.
My room at Ohio University is always a mess. I live with four other girls so there are clothes everywhere, dishes piled up and trash that never gets taken out when it should. There isn’t a ton of structure, so when I come home to my parents’ house, the chores and responsibilities can feel overwhelming. Obviously, I’m willing to do my part, but a little bit of room to adjust can be helpful.
Don’t expect your students to spend all their time with the family. Sometimes coming home can be hard when parents have high expectations about how much time they want kids to spend doing family activities. As a college student, my schedule is always booked and free time is very scarce, so returning home is a relief and an opportunity to catch up on sleep and free food. Some initial space would be very helpful before summer jobs start. I also have two young siblings, ages six and four, so coming home from college can often feel like a babysitting job. They wake up early and noisily and, although I want to spend time with them, switching from living with my best friends to living with little kids is difficult.
Respect each others’ schedules. When I get back to Dublin, I often want to see friends that I have missed while away at school. Don’t get upset with your kids for making those arrangements, but sit down and discuss a plan for fitting in time with everyone.
Trust your college kids and acknowledge that your relationship has changed since they left. Most people think the hard part about going to college is leaving the nest and not having anyone guide you toward what you should and shouldn’t do. However, it can be more difficult returning home and being told what to do constantly. We understand that you just want to protect us from the world, but as we grow and change as adults, our parent/child relationship grows and changes as well. Try to parent less, take on the friend role when appropriate and be aware that we can make our own decisions. Acknowledging and listening to your child’s accomplishments and personal college experience can be really meaningful.
Colleen D’Angelo is a freelance writer who lives in Dublin with her husband, three children and several small animals. She enjoys playing tennis, walking the Dublin bike paths and traveling.
