In his book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Gary Chapman highlights five ways that people express and experience romantic love. These love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch and quality time.
“Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands and endure untold hardships,” Chapman writes. “Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable and hardship our lot in life.”
Words of Affirmation
People who prefer words of affirmation as a love language value verbal cues of affection, such as compliments, words of appreciation and encouragement. These expressions of love make them feel understood and appreciated in the relationship.
Try this: Leave notes for your significant other detailing little things you appreciate about them.
Acts of Service
Acts of service is a love language used by people who value their partners going out of their way to complete essential errands on their behalf. This could be something like bringing a cup of coffee in the morning, or ordering and picking up prescriptions even without being asked.
Try this: Make the bed, do the laundry, take the trash out of your own volition.
Gift-giving
This love language is feeling loved when people give you gifts as visual symbols of love. It’s a lot less about monetary value than about symbolic thought. Those with this love language see not only the choice of that particular gift, but the emotional benefits of receiving it.
Try this: Surprise your significant other with flowers and never forget any major holidays (Christmas, birthdays, Mother’s Day, etc.).
Physical Touch
People with physical touch as their love language appreciate physical signs of affection rather than physical objects – kissing, holding hands, cuddling on the couch, sex. They value the feelings of warmth and comfort that accompany the physical touch of their loved ones.
Try this: Give lots of hugs and random surprise kisses!
Quality Time
Those who use quality time as a love language feel the most loved when their partners make an effort to spend time with them. They appreciate being fully present with their partners in any given situation, typically without any distractions, and also enjoy having deep, meaningful conversations or sharing recreational activities.
Try this: Plan a date night to carve time out to sit down and be with your significant other despite your crazy schedules.
Sanaya Attari is an editorial assistant. Feedback welcome at feedback@cityscenemediagroup.com.
