After months of developmental delays, Annie and Jim Stair’s son, Graham, was diagnosed with autism at 2-and-a-half years old.
The diagnosis answered the question of why Graham wasn’t progressing at the same rate as his peers, but it brought about a new slew of questions. One such question was what’s the next step?
“It was a lot just getting our treatment plan in order and getting connected to the right resources,” Annie Stair says. “We thought that there could be a more centralized place where families could get together for events and network and share resources.”
It was this thought that inspired the Stairs to establish the Red Oak Family Foundation. Founded in April 2022 and named after the oak tree in Annie and Jim’s front yard, the foundation provides a space where families can connect, relax and learn.
“We found that we got the best information from other families that had been through what we’d been through,” Stair says.
While Red Oak events primarily provide a space for the kids to relax and make friends, the organization also serves as a crucial learning space for the parents.
“We hold educational events and social events so families can be together in comfortable environments. A lot of autism families don’t go out often with their kids or are hesitant to do that because their kids may have meltdowns,” Stair says.
In the past year, they have hosted an IEP breakdown workshop as well as three sensory-friendly events for families. Additionally, they partnered with the Upper Arlington Civic Association for July Fourth and Christmas in the Park in order to provide sensory-friendly spaces amid the festivals.
“We wanted to create environments where families could be around other families that get it,” Stair says.
Because of Red Oak, these families can connect in spaces designed to accommodate their kids’ needs.
Reaching the Community
Marissa Donham, a board member at the Red Oak Foundation, joined the organization because of its commitment to sharing resources and connecting families. When Donham’s three children were also diagnosed with autism at a young age, her family experienced the same world-altering shift as the Stairs.
“It was incredibly isolating. We didn’t know anybody who had a child with something as huge as autism. There was nobody to talk to,” says Donham.
After finding few answers by scouring the internet, Marissa began to reach out to people through Facebook in the hopes that someone could help her find resources for her kids.
“You just come into this world knowing nothing, and there’s really nobody to talk to about it,” says Donham.
Donham met Stair through a therapy program both of their kids attended. Through their friendship, they realized they both struggled with finding resources and connecting with the autism community.
When Stair started the Red Oak Foundation, Donham became a board member. After three years of forging relationships in the world of autism, Donham was an invaluable resource because of her knowledge base and experience.
“I spent those three years (after the diagnosis) trying every single therapy and finding all the autism events. Anything that was out there that was autism-related, I either researched or I found somebody to talk to about it,” Donham says.
After joining Red Oak, Donham noticed a marked shift in the autism community in Upper Arlington.
“I’ve seen people feel less lonely and feel less shame and feel less embarrassed,” Donham says. “I’ve seen a safe space being carved out where we are celebrating that our kids are stimming and making weird noises.”
Because of Red Oak and Stair, Donham has hope that they can build a community that welcomes them for who they are. Events like the UA Parade and Christmas in the Park are spaces where the community has begun to embrace the autism community. The collaboration between the Upper Arlington Civic Association and the Red Oak Foundation is a testament to the community’s willingness to adapt.
“I think that there is really starting to be an area where these kids can be celebrated for who they are and I’m really proud of our community for always saying yes to everything we suggest,” says Donham.
Making an Impact
In the future, Red Oak plans to introduce a parent program that provides information and mental health support to the parents of kids with autism. It also plans on launching a sibling program which will include four nights throughout the year where siblings can come and talk about their experiences while hanging out with other siblings.
“It’s supporting those individuals with autism, but then also their family members,” Stair says.
Get Involved
Families can get connected by going to the Red Oak Family Foundation website and sending a message to the organization via the contact page.
To donate, visit the foundation’s website (www.redoakfamily.org). All proceeds go toward scheduling events for individuals with autism.
Katie Giffin is an editorial assistant at CityScene Media Group. Feedback welcome at feedback@cityscenemediagroup.com.
