Photo by Jeffrey S. Hall Photography
Michelle Unger with students Addilyn Alexander and Henry Brooks
“You are what you are,” they say, but I am here to tell you that is simply not true.
I can still remember the very day – Nov. 30, 2010 – when my world went blurry. The day that my husband, Troy, and I would have to tell my 11- and 8-year-old boys that their mom had just been diagnosed with a cancer that would lead us down the neverending and treacherous journey that is stage III colorectal cancer.
When you first hear the word “cancer,” it feels as if you have just boarded a runaway train going 100 miles per hour. You are vaguely aware there are trees flying by, but it’s all just one big blur. A yearlong battle included four surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation that would leave me feeling physically frail and broken. But, at the same time, I was feeling very grateful and blessed.
That’s where my cancer battle ended, and defining my new normal began.
After my treatments were over, I was having a conversation with my family. My oldest son made the statement that, because he was built like my husband and my youngest son was built like me, he would be destined for high blood pressure and my youngest was destined for cancer. At that moment, I realized that they did not see that my healthy mindset and actions prior to cancer had impacted my survival. The reality of what the boys had known their mom to be, which was very high-energy and athletic, had come head to head with what cancer had taken from her. Now, it was up to me to adjust the situation and define my new normal – for me and for them.
When you first hear the word “cancer,” it feels as if you have just boarded a runaway train going 100 miles per hour. You are vaguely aware there are trees flying by, but it’s all just one big blur.
So, my response was, while we are predisposed genetically to some things, nothing is ever written in stone. You absolutely can affect your health and future by your actions now. Don’t get me wrong, the process was slow, which, for me, was very hard to accept. But I could not let cancer define my new normal. I need to take action now.
Photo courtesy of Michelle Unger
The Unger family on the beach. From left: Corbin, Troy, Michelle, Brock
Action was required to move from victim to survivor mentality, and I got to work. I sought out and found a nutritionist, went to acupuncture and massage therapy, found a trainer who was willing to go slow but push when necessary, and most importantly, I engaged my biggest support team: my family, with my husband, Troy, taking the lead and being there every step of the way.
When all was said and done, my biggest takeaway and the message I want to convey is: Don’t let your circumstances define you. Define your circumstances. As with my health struggles, I bring this mentality to my job in New Albany as the Early Learning Center principal, focusing on the whole child. It is vital to employ healthy initiatives at a young age. I love the partnership we have with Healthy New Albany to promote healthy initiatives in our youngest learners. I am pleased to be a small part and to have walked the New Albany Walking Classic to practice what I preach.
Life is always full of lessons and blessings if you will just take the time to look, even when your world goes blurry. But I am not a survivor alone. My faith, my family and my willingness to define my new normal have all come together to make me what I am today – a mom, a wife and a woman willing to change when it’s what life requires.
Michelle Unger is principal of New Albany Plain-Local Schools’ Early Learning Center. Feedback welcome at adeperro@cityscenemediagroup.com.
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