Doug Rider
When Grove City resident Lieutenant Tom Bolin first became a firefighter for Norwich Township in 1995, he had never heard the phrase “mental health.”
After graduating from Grove City High School, Bolin briefly pursued business management. Shortly after, he decided to follow in his family’s footsteps and become a first responder. Bolin says he wouldn't trade the brotherhood, the service to others or the lifelong friends. But he was unprepared for the toll it would take on his life.
“You were told early on, ‘You knew what you signed up for,’” Bolin says. “If you can’t handle it, you might want to find another career.”
His depression and anxiety from his experiences pulled him inward and away from his coworkers as well as his wife and three sons.
“That’s the one thing about first responders is: we hide it very well,” Bolin says. “A lot of people don’t even know.”
A turning point
In 2019, Bolin came home, grabbed a weapon and was prepared to take his own life.
“Nowadays I look back to that like, ‘Man, that was crazy,’” Bolin says. “But in that moment, I justified it in my mind (thinking) ‘My family would be better off.’”
Something made him hesitate. Even now, he doesn’t know what it was. When his son found him, they spoke and he agreed to hand over the weapon.
Doug Rider
For Bolin, that was the turning point. He finally opened up to his family and decided to go to the International Association of Fire Fighters (IAFF) Center of Excellence, a treatment center for firefighters struggling with substance abuse and mental health.
But then he had to tell his coworkers, his brothers and sisters who knew nothing of his struggles. He walked in at roll call, and laid it all out. One by one, his team gave him a hug and assurance.
“I wasn’t their boss in that moment,” Bolin says. “I was their fellow brother. I was struggling, and they knew it. They had my back, and I’ll never forget that.”
Bolin traveled 441 miles to the IAFF Center of Excellence in Maryland, where there were no phones, no family, but 30-40 fellow firefighters who understood the pain.
“We joke that a lot of the therapy started at the fire pit in the evening,” Bolin says. “That was really big for me because it opened up my eyes that it’s not just a me thing, it’s a first responder community struggle.”
Although Bolin had lost six close friends in the service to suicide, he was just starting to finally uncover the severity of the epidemic.
With his one hour of phone time per week, Bolin made a call to his friend Heith Good, who encouraged him to open up.
“He said, ‘Tommy, if you would just come back and be vulnerable. You have no idea the impact you’ll have on other people, and how many other people that you’ll help and maybe even save by just sharing your story,’” Bolin says.
Doug Rider
Advocacy in action
Bolin started small with his fire crew in Norwich. A testimonial video created by his brother-in-law, Doug Rider, went viral, catapulting Bolin to share his story further.
“Now this is my new purpose,” Bolin says. “If you’d told me I’d be on a stage talking to sometimes crowds of 500-800 people, I’d have told you you’re out of your mind.”
With more than three decades as a first responder, Bolin has expanded his expertise to include public speaking, serving as an IAFF-certified Peer supporter and working as a nationally registered support dog handler.
Doug Rider
Bolin shares his story at mental health symposiums and partners with several organizations to promote mental health awareness in the first responder community. In his lectures, Bolin focuses on building resilience. First responders cannot avoid the trauma, but they can create healthy coping mechanisms to mitigate its effects.
He emphasizes building a supportive community and finding a life purpose.
Although being a first responder is a high calling, Bolin emphasized that people need a larger meaning outside of their jobs.
“This job has given me so much, but it’s also taken a lot from me: the sleepless nights, the stress and just the traumas that we witness,” Bolin says. “We gotta learn that (we) can’t let our jobs define who we are.”
Doug Rider
Bolin believes the whole first responder system, from education to the conversations about mental health, needs to change and he is ready to help be apart of it.
“It might be a paragraph in a book to be briefly talked about,” Bolin says. “That’s pretty much the training they get. If we’re going to change the culture…we have to start at the beginning. We owe it to our next generation to be better.”
Maggie Fipps is an editorial assistant at CityScene Media Group. Feedback welcome at feedback@cityscenemediagroup.com.
