We now understand how critical it is to our children’s mental and physical health that we discuss Internet content, but how we can partner with our children to keep them safe?
We are all aware of filters and watchdog apps, and how to check the history of the web browser – though the private tab or incognito tab will not show the history – but that makes us feel like we’re “checking up” on our children, and it doesn’t establish trust. To establish trust, we need to be able to communicate expectations, but also make it safe for kids to come to us and open up about what they viewed, read or heard online.
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, a book by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, will show you how to engage children so they are willing participants in a cooperative effort to prevent exposure to inappropriate content and establish limits as a team. Setting parameters by consensus rather than executive decision engenders goodwill.
Establish an agreed-upon time period to have this discussion with your child, have each party make points and wishes known, negotiate, come to consensus, write out the agreement with consequences for transgressions and rewards for upholding it, and agree to evaluate in about eight weeks’ time.
Encouraging positive relationships with children through open communication and participation in the decision-making process helps teach self-discipline. After all, the children have been placed in an authority position over themselves.
Family conflict is inevitable, but when children know their side of the story will be heard, they are more likely to work toward a new agreement and/or accept the previously agreed-upon consequences to violating the boundaries set. It is important to regularly modify agreements, as children mature and demonstrate that they are trustworthy.
Ria Greiff is a master trainer for a nationwide firm based out of New York and a national speaker on topics of wellness. She has been providing wellness seminars for professionals of Fortune 500 companies for over 15 years. She is also the clinical director of her own benefits consulting firm and has completed her doctorate studies in human services, as well as degrees in counseling and psychology from University of Dayton and The Ohio State University, respectively. She loves to help people and she is always listening. Feel free to contact her with questions, comments or speaking engagement requests at ria@2rogues.com.
